If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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