What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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