Me too!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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