Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
