Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
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