dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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