you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
