Acid is not a monday night drug
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
