i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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