coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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