Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
