I am full of burrito and curiosity
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
