Welp...herpes.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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