dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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