come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
