if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize