it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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