We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The beer is more important than you right now.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
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I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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