Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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