No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
