yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
