I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I want to stick my p in your. b.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Randomize
