I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
