someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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