Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
