he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
