awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize