i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
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You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
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