What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
