dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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