i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
