You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize