i just wanna soil my oats bro
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
