we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
