White coat. Heels.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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