do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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