hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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