last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
