one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.