in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.