Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
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Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
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It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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