sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
where am i from again
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
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Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow