oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
