.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
