we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Do you have feelings for this penis?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
