Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
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The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
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You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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