I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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