mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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