I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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