I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
