Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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