i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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