Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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