We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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