12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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