a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
