Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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