Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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