there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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