Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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