We're facebook friends in real life
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
