Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's just like the Real World with babies
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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