Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
