she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
