JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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